It’s hard to believe but Game of Thrones has officially been off our screens for over a year now. And whether or not you were a fan of how the whole thing ended (it DID leave way too many unanswered questions for my liking), there’s one thing that they certainly delivered on: the sex scenes.
Let’s be real, if the hit show is known for one thing other than consistently killing off your favorite characters, it’s the crazy amount of nudity and sex that’s sprinkled throughout the episodes. And although these scenes can involve some hard-to-watch incest (ahem, Jaime and Cersei), there are also plenty of hot, steamy scenes to provide some sweet relief from the brutal world that is the game of thrones (thank you, Jon and Ygritte).
Here are the 35 of the most important sex scenes the show has given us over its eight seasons, from the really, really hot to the downright uncomfy. You’re gonna need this list before you rewatch the entire series on HBO Max; you’re welcome.
Bronn and Mirelle (Season 3, Episode 1)
Bronn and Mirelle (one of the ladies from Littlefinger’s brothel) are juuuust about to get it on when good ol’ Poddrick walks in and kinda ruins the party. Bronn quickly realizes he won’t be celebrating his newly bestowed knighthood how he would like after all, and heads on back to protect Tyrion.
Dany and Drogo, Again (Season 1, Episode 2)
The second time we see Drogo and Dany having sex, things are still looking pretty terrible. Drogo is forcefully having sex with Dany while she stares off, looking intently at her three dragon eggs. It seems like the Khal and Khaleesi aren’t ever going to have any sort of actual romantic relationship, until…
Theon and Ros (Season 1, Episode 5)
Before Theon became the trembling, brainwashed Reek, he was known for his many, many sexual conquests. He was a frequent customer of Ros and sneaked her into the castle for one last tryst before she left to go south to King’s Landing. While their relationship seems a little odd, Theon seems genuinely sad when he later says he’s going to miss her.
Littlefinger, Ros, and Another Prostitute (Season 1, Episode 7)
In the brothel at King’s Landing, Littlefinger, aka Lord Baelish, is doing what he knows best: being a total creep. He has Ros and another prostitute practice having sex in front of him and critiques their moves, sounds included, wanting them to make everything more believable. When the ladies ask him to join them, he mysteriously says he’s saving himself for someone with “impeccable bloodlines.”
Theon and the Ship Captain’s Daughter (Season 2, Episode 2)
Theon continues his sexual escapades while sailing home to the Iron Islands. Even on a boat, this guy can find someone to have sex with. He captures the attention of the ship captain’s daughter, who begs him to take her away with him. In true playboy fashion, he declines but still manages to keep the below-deck hookup going.
Loras and Olyvar (Season 3, Episode 5)
Despite the fact that Loras is betrothed to Sansa, we soon learn that he jousts for the other team. He has a hot hookup with Olyvar inside the castle and questions Olyvar on how he could tell he was gay. The two continue to have a relationship for a few more seasons, until Olyvar turns on his lover and gives incriminating testimony to the High Priest, which allows him to imprison Loras.
Oberyn, Ellaria, Olyvar, and Two Unnamed Prostitutes (Season 4, Episode 3)
At the King’s Landing brothel, Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand are enjoying themselves in an orgy with Olyvar and two female prostitutes. The fun comes to an end when they’re interrupted by one of the least sexy men on the show, Tywin Lannister.
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