Why Do I Dream of Having Children at 18?
Amid the confusion and self-reflection during early adulthood, it's not uncommon for young individuals to have what some refer to as 'baby fever.' At 18, just when you're beginning your journey of life's complex and exciting challenges, the idea of having a pair of children someday can feel both exciting and strange. Let’s explore the reasons behind such dreams and the practical realities of bringing those aspirations to life.
Understanding Dreams From a Psychological Perspective
Our desires are often driven by a combination of both need and our hormones. It’s not unusual for very young mothers to experience a hormonal rush that makes them feel ideally suited for motherhood, even though many are far too young to handle the challenges that come with parenting. These desires can be fragmented and intense, especially during adolescence when identity formation and hormonal fluctuations are at play.
At 18, you're still discovering yourself and figuring out your life's purpose. It's a time of deep introspection and growth, and the idea of creating a family can be a natural expression of your desires for belonging and love. The dream of having children might stem from a misalignment between your current reality and your aspirations for the future. It's important to understand that having a child can be a beautiful part of life, but it's crucial to be prepared for the journey that lies ahead.
The Reality of Raising Children
Kids are not just cuddly companions; they require a significant investment of time, effort, and patience. Caring for a child is a massive responsibility, especially when you're still a young adult yourself and have much to learn about life. Raising children can be one of the most rewarding experiences, but it's also demanding. I took care of my friends' and siblings' children ever since I was 19, and after experiencing it, I can assure you, it’s a big responsibility. At 18, you're still a kid and have a lot more to learn before embarking on such a journey.
Now, let’s delve into some of the realities of parenting. Let’s begin with the early experience of pregnancy. Three months of morning sickness, waking up and darting to the bathroom, are far from an enjoyable way to start your day. Stretch marks on your abdomen, which you can’t eliminate with Vitamin E, and swollen ankles can be part of the early pregnancy package. Buckle up, as the journey gets more intense as you edge closer to labor.
The Emotional and Physical Demands of Motherhood
Once the baby is born, the responsibilities are immense. Waking every couple of hours to feed, the exhaustion that seems never-ending, and the financial toll of diapers, wipes, vaccinations, and baby equipment are just the start. There's no relief, no "breaks," and endless feeding and crying from the baby. It's particularly challenging without a partner, as you face these challenges alone. The emotional and physical demands of motherhood can be overwhelming, and it’s important to prepare yourself for the realities of this journey.
Additionally, consider your social and emotional needs. Many people experience a desire for children when they feel emotionally isolated or unsatisfied at home. You might be dreaming of having a child to help alleviate feelings of loneliness. While having a baby doesn’t solve emotional issues by default, it can bring a sense of fulfillment and purpose to your life. However, it’s essential to address any underlying feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction before embarking on this journey.
Conclusion
Having children is a life-changing decision that requires careful consideration. At 18, it’s natural to have dreams that are unrealistic given your current life stage. Hormones and aspirations can sometimes clash with practical realities, leading to a sense of confusion. However, if you genuinely feel a strong desire to have children, it's crucial to reflect on the responsibility you're stepping into. Proper planning, emotional support, and understanding the challenges that come with parenting are key to making this dream a reality.
Remember, your journey to parenthood should be deliberate and well-thought-out. Embrace the challenges and joys of growing up, and make the decision that aligns with your aspirations and well-being. In the end, the journey to parenthood is a rewarding one, but it demands commitment, understanding, and preparation.