When Should Parents Stop Helping with Homework?

Deciding when to stop helping kids with homework can vary based on the child's age, maturity, and the type of homework. This article will explore general guidelines and tips to help parents support their children in becoming independent learners.

Guidelines for Different Age Stages

Early Elementary (K-2)

At this stage, parents should be actively involved in helping with homework as children are still developing foundational skills. Support should focus on guiding rather than doing the work for them. This helps in fostering a sense of independence and builds confidence in their abilities.

Middle Elementary (3-5)

As children gain more independence, parents can step back slightly. Encourage them to try solving problems on their own while being available for questions. This approach gradually shifts the responsibility to the child, preparing them for more advanced work in the future.

Late Elementary to Middle School (6-8)

Kids should be taking more responsibility for their homework. Parents can help by creating a conducive study environment and encouraging time management but should avoid providing answers. This is a crucial period for developing self-discipline and problem-solving skills.

High School (9-12)

By this stage, students should be largely self-sufficient. Parents can offer support by helping them understand concepts or manage their workload but should allow them to complete assignments independently. Encouraging autonomy is key to building independence and confidence in their abilities.

General Tips for Parents

Encourage Problem-Solving: Instead of giving answers, ask guiding questions that lead them to find solutions. Monitor and Support: Check in on their progress and offer help when they genuinely struggle but encourage independence. Communicate with Teachers: If homework becomes a significant struggle, consider discussing this with teachers for advice tailored to your child’s needs.

Additional Tips for Academic Success

We should always be apprised of what homework our kids have and develop solid routines to ensure it gets done properly. If your child is an 8th grader and above, I wish you luck helping them with their math homework.

Homework is designed to measure understanding of concepts taught in class. It's important that there be significant time from when the concept was taught until it is attempted. If the child knows there will be help at home, they may cease to listen when they get lost. This can lead to misunderstandings and a reliance on parental instruction, which can mislead the teacher about the child's true understanding.

To help struggling children, parents can offer the following strategies:

Ask Questions Aloud: Encourage the child to read the questions aloud several times, changing their tone each time. This slows down their reading and ensures they hear the directions properly. Look for Clues: Encourage the child to look for clues in the book that will help with recall of what was discussed in class. Identify and Define: Have the child identify the word they don’t understand and pay attention to the words that tell their pen what to do. Look up words for understanding. Ask Questions Tomorrow: Encourage the child to come up with questions they can ask the teacher the next day to let the teacher know where their confusion lies. Visualization: Encourage the child to look at the homework before the teacher does instruction and determine what they don’t understand. Once the teacher explains it, they will be prepared to answer the problems when they get home. Take Breaks and Hydrate: Have the child take a break, drink some water, and eat some fruit to provide nourishment to the brain. Many children work with dehydrated brains, which slow recall. Strategic Skipping: If the child is unable to solve a problem, encourage them to skip the question and return to it later to allow the brain time to find a solution. School Meeting: Send the child back to school early to meet with the teacher. Teachers can provide valuable insights and offer personalized assistance.

When children have strategies for solving their homework, they will cease needing as much help. This empowerment is a huge confidence builder. Children who receive too much help don't learn that they have ways of solving problems on their own. They may act in a helpless fashion and will need ongoing assistance. On the other hand, children who know how to manage stress and who know how to be positive about their ability to solve problems on their own will be successful in life.

Mistakes are merely telling us what we don't know. Help them embrace mistakes as an opportunity to find another way of doing something. Encourage the child to ask the teacher to show a different way if the first explanation is confusing. Looking at corrected work provides a great opportunity to ask the question, “What will you need to remember next time so you don't make the same mistake?”

Children need to learn the value of asking questions. It is the single most important thing they can do to excel in school. Once children start asking teachers questions, the teacher will learn what they need to do to deliver information efficiently to the student in the future. The students who ask get one-on-one instruction, even if the class has 30 children. They will change the way teachers teach.

Reach out for specific help in the future. If you offer a specific type of homework challenge, I can provide you with specific strategies to share with them and help them discover strategies on their own. I love that the most. When they come up with a strategy or an answer, they never have to ask for help again. Don't define a word. Instead, ask them to figure out what they think the word might mean. Look for clues in stories and workbook assignments.