Understanding and Encouraging Those Who Feel Discouraged

When someone says they are discouraged, it means they are feeling disappointed and frustrated. This can happen for various reasons, such as when their desires or expectations are unmet or when they face significant obstacles that seem insurmountable. This article explores the meaning of feeling discouraged and offers effective strategies to help encourage and support those who are down.

What Does it Mean When Someone Says They Are Discouraged?

Feeling discouraged often stems from unmet expectations or goals. It can manifest when a person feels that their efforts have not yielded the desired results, whether it is related to personal traits, attitudes, or tasks. Someone who is discouraged may experience a sense of loneliness and exasperation, feeling that the outcome of their efforts was far from what they anticipated.

Key Aspects of Discouragement

There are two main aspects to consider when dealing with a discouraged individual:

Feeling Discouraged: They do not feel encouraged. Encouragement, on the other hand, is a positive influence that gives someone hope and the belief that they have a chance of success. Approach-Avoidance Dynamic: The approach aspect involves setting goals and achieving them, which releases dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter. However, if there are too many failures, this can lead to a psychological threat to confidence, prompting avoidance. Discouragement can arise when the need to reduce self-esteem threats outweighs the drive to pursue goals.

Examples of Encouragement and Discouragement

To better understand the difference, let us look at some examples:

Encouragement Example: Brenda was unable to secure a car loan from any company. Her best friend, Phillip, told her he knew someone who would be willing to help and could even guarantee it. This information encouraged Brenda to continue her efforts and not give up.

Discouragement Example: Another scenario involves Brenda again, who applied for several car loans but had no success. Her best friend, Phillip, then advised her to give up as no one would help her at this point. This advice only made her feel more discouraged.

In another example, Gina wanted to have a baby, but after several months of trying with no success, her mother said, "Daughter, give up, it wasn't meant to be." However, Gina's best friend, Cathey, encouraged her to keep trying, saying, "It will happen, don’t give up. It's in the cards for you and your husband."

Strategies to Help the Discouraged

1. Listen and Validate Their Feelings: Start by acknowledging their feelings. Make sure they know that it's okay to feel discouraged and that their emotions are valid.

2. Reframe the Situation: Help them see the situation from a different perspective. Emphasize that every failure is a learning opportunity and a step closer to success.

3. Set Realistic Goals: Break down the obstacle into smaller, more manageable steps and set achievable goals to build confidence gradually.

4. Provide Support and Resources: Offer your time, resources, or connections that can help them achieve their goals. Sometimes, a little push in the right direction can make all the difference.

5. Encourage Positive Self-Talk: Guide them to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Positive self-talk can significantly impact confidence and motivation.

Conclusion

Discouragement can be a challenging emotional state, but it is not insurmountable. By understanding what it means and implementing effective strategies, we can help those who are down to regain their confidence and find the courage to continue their journey towards success. Remember, the greatest trick in life is to view adversity as a friend and a teacher, not as a threat.