Introduction
The debate on parenting styles has been a long-standing discussion. Some argue that strict and tough parenting stifles children's spirits and develops resentment, while others believe it fosters resilience, discipline, and a deep sense of responsibility. Drawing from personal experiences, this article explores the positive impact of disciplined parenting on children and its lasting effects.
Personal Experiences with Strict Parenting
As the youngest of three siblings, I was brought up in a household with fairly strict and tough parents. Contrary to popular belief, no, my siblings and I do not harbor any grudges toward our parents. On the contrary, we all love and respect them, our mother in particular, who made significant sacrifices for her family.
Strict parenting does not have to be cruel; in fact, it can be a form of guidance and protection, much like the constructive intervention of safety measures in a hazardous environment. My parents, like those before them, knew no other way due to the influence of their own upbringing. However, despite the strictness, we never felt treated unfairly. We were loved and cared for, and this sense of security instilled a deep sense of responsibility and moral compass in us. This is a testament to the effectiveness of strict parenting when done with love and understanding.
Observations on Soft and Lenient Parenting
My wife and I attempted to balance strictness with leniency, nurturing a relationship based on mutual respect and love. Our children, now 48 and 50, have internalized the values we instilled in them. They uphold similar standards in their own households, making a positive impact on society. This is a clear indication that tough love can foster a strong foundation for future generations.
However, I’ve observed a concerning trend among some parents who adopt a ‘soft’ and lenient approach. This permissive parenting can lead to what psychologists refer to as 'entitlement'. Children who are excessively indulged can grow up with unrealistic expectations and a lack of respect for authority figures. When these adults find themselves no longer useful to their children, the cycle of abandonment can repeat itself, highlighting the importance of consistent, balanced parenting.
Role of Parents in Child Development
Parents play a pivotal role not just in raising their children, but also in shaping their future attitudes and behaviors. They are not merely the providers of what a child desires, but also the educators of what a child needs to know. This includes teaching them how to navigate the complexities of the world while fostering a sense of community and family unity.
Successful parenting is about striking a balance between strictness and kindness. It involves being tough when necessary, but always doing so with a gentle heart. When facing hardships, children should be told the reasons and given a calm explanation. Understanding the child’s perspective and showing empathy can help in cultivating a strong bond and mutual respect.
Conclusion
Strict and tough parenting can have profound positive effects when rooted in love and understanding. It can teach children discipline, responsibility, and respect, leading them to build strong, meaningful relationships and make significant contributions to society. While there is no perfect parenting style, finding the right balance can make all the difference.