Supporting a 20-Month-Old After Missing Grandparents: Strategies and Advice

For parents or caregivers, witnessing a small child's profound sadness over the absence of loved ones can be heart-wrenching. When a 20-month-old misses grandparents very badly, finding the right words and actions can be challenging. This article provides essential strategies to support your child during this difficult period and offers insights into understanding and addressing their grief.

Understanding Your Child's Grief

At 20 months, your child is still very much a part of the grieving process, no matter the reason their grandparents are absent. Children this age may not fully comprehend death, but they can certainly sense and experience the emotional climate around them. This includes the sadness, anxiety, and stress that come with missing a loved one.

Setting the Tone

One of the foundational steps in supporting your child is creating a safe and comforting environment. Here are some key steps:

Physical Comfort: Ensure that your child's basic needs are met—laundry, baths, food, and water. These are the physical safeguards that help maintain a sense of security and normalcy. Mental Comfort: Sit with your child and allow them to express their sadness. Children this age might not verbalize their feelings, but they can still show signs of distress through crying, loss of appetite, or reluctance to engage in usual activities. Verbal Comfort: Reassure your child that it's okay to miss their grandparents. Let them know that their feelings are valid and that you are there for them. Trusted Support: Ensure your child knows that missing someone is a natural part of life and that they can talk to you about their feelings whenever they need to.

Talking Truthfully

It's crucial to be truthful with your child, even if the truth is hard to bear. Hiding information or lying can lead to a future where your child finds it difficult to trust you. If the absence is due to death, moving away, or a departure for other reasons, be straightforward and use age-appropriate language. For example, you might say, "Grandma and Grandpa are not here anymore. They are always in my heart, but you won't see them anymore."

Bonding with Grandparents

If your child's grandparents are nearby, it's vital to arrange a reunion as soon as possible. This could be a visit, a phone call, or video chat. Depending on your circumstances, the presence of grandparents can provide a reassuring and familiar presence that helps alleviate feelings of loss. Your child's grandparents can offer a supportive and nurturing environment that can help ease their sadness.

Promoting Emotional Resilience

For both you and your child, knowing that support is available can make a significant difference in navigating this challenging period. Here are some additional strategies to promote emotional resilience:

Regular Time Together: Spend quality time with your child, engaging in activities they enjoy. This could include playing with toys, reading books, or taking a short walk. Prompt Follow-Ups: Make regular calls and visits to ensure that your child remains connected with their grandparents. This can help your child build a stronger bond over time. Comforting Mantras: Develop comforting mantras that you and your child can use to remind yourselves of the love and support available. For example, "Grandparents love us always" or "We are not alone, we have each other." Emotional Expression: Allow your child to express their feelings through drawings, play, or conversation. These expressions can help them process their emotions more effectively.

Understanding and addressing the grief of a 20-month-old child requires patience, empathy, and love. By providing a nurturing and supportive environment, you can help your child navigate their feelings and strengthen their emotional resilience.

Conclusion

Missing grandparents can be an extremely challenging experience for a young child. With the right approach, you can provide your child with the support they need to understand and process their feelings. Remember, your child's feelings and experiences are valid, and it's essential to validate those feelings while ensuring they know they are loved and not alone.