Reflections on Life’s Adversities: When Another’s Suffering Brings Mine Into Perspective
It was the early hours of December 2015, when I was in my third year of undergraduate studies in Chennai, a city that prides itself on its beauty and charm. Nature, however, made no such pretenses.
That time, Mother Nature showed no mercy towards Singara Chennai, the Beautiful Chennai. The city had experienced flooding unprecedented in recent years. Raindrops continued to pour down day and night, accumulating an alarming 250mm of rainfall. The entire city was turned into an archipelago, with boats using flooded roads as makeshift pathways.
During this time, our power supply cables were cut by the ferocious winds. Unfortunately, one of the areas affected was my neighborhood. We experienced a power cut for almost two days, which was quite the ordeal.
Without a fan or air conditioner, the nights were particularly challenging. The incessant sweat, small and annoying mosquitoes singing an unwelcome song, and the discomfort that came with the lack of sleep made those nights some of the worst I had faced. My frustration reached its peak as I criticized the authorities silently for not doing enough.
On the third day, power was restored, and I turned on the TV to catch up on local news. What I saw there left me moved to tears. The scene in the city was heartbreaking. Images of a mother with an infant in a house filled with water and sewage up to her knees, people leaving behind their expensive possessions to save their lives, and the sight of countless people losing their lives filled me with a sense of deep empathy.
Amidst all this, it was me who was upset about the power cut and the discomfort of sweating. My so-called suffering paled in comparison to the real struggles seen around me. This experience taught me a valuable lesson: never compare your suffering to someone else's. There will always be someone who has it worse than you. Be grateful for what you have.
The Power of Perspective
It's tempting to feel better about our own struggles by realizing that someone else has it worse. However, this perspective can be damaging.
Consider this scenario: imagine you are grieving over a situation, and a smiling person walks up to you and says, 'You know what? I was very sad until I saw you so sad that I realized I had it better than you. Thanks.' Would this statement make you feel any better? Would it take the edge off your grief? Probably not. This idea that another's suffering validates and legitimizes your own can be rather disheartening.
It is distressing to encounter individuals who laugh at the misery of others, suggesting that your suffering might be worse. This attitude is not about empathy; it's about exploiting human suffering as a means to feel better. True empathy lies in recognizing the unique struggles of each individual, rather than measuring them against one another.
Adversity is not a car or a phone; it's a different kind of struggle. When you find yourself in a challenging situation, seek a reason to be grateful. If you can't find one, look harder for reasons to feel thankful. However, acceptance of your own suffering does not come from the reflection that someone else has it worse. It comes from within, and true happiness stems from recognizing the value in the present moment.
In conclusion, the lesson from those days in Chennai is about gratitude and perspective. Recognize the beauty in the present, and be mindful of comparing one's own trials to those of others. Empathy and understanding are invaluable, and comparing suffering can often conflict with these virtues.
Conclusion
Life is full of adversities, and we all face unique challenges. It is crucial to find gratitude in our circumstances and understand the importance of empathy. Remember, your suffering is as valid as anyone else's, and true happiness comes from within. Embrace the journey, and keep a grateful heart.