Nurturing Gender Inclusivity: Why I Refuse to Use Gender Neutral Language
As a parent raising girls, I often find myself contemplating the role of language in shaping my children's perceptions. One frequent debate surrounds gender neutral language. While some advocate for its use, I believe there are substantial drawbacks that warrant careful consideration.
The Issue with Gender Neutral Language
The problem with gender neutral language is that it inherently defines a default human as male. Consider the prevalence of male default in various aspects of life—movies, politics, and business. Many fictional characters and historical figures still overwhelmingly represent males. Fewer examples can be found of strong female characters in mainstream media. This is evident in the Bechdel Test, which measures the presence of female characters with distinct personalities and development in films. A male default permeates our society, and this influence seeps into how we perceive and nurture our children.
Why I Embrace Gendered Language
As a parent and a feminist, my aim is to ensure that my daughters have a broader and more inclusive view of the world. I choose to use female pronouns, such as “she” and “her,” when speaking about individuals of unknown gender. Whether we are discussing doctors, astronauts, union representatives, or writers, I highlight the achievements and potential of women in these roles.
My goal is to instill in my daughters the belief that they can aspire to any career, whether it be a chef, mathematician, musician, or primary caregiver. It is crucial to the development of their identity and self-worth that they do not have to concede their femininity to achieve their ambitions. Gender neutral language, in this context, constructs a world where males are the default, and I want to break this cycle.
Fostering Gender Inclusivity Beyond Language
Though gendered language is crucial, it is only one part of a larger effort to promote gender inclusivity. As a parent, my responsibility extends to teaching my children about tolerance, empathy, and inclusivity. I raise my children—male and female—according to the same principles.
My daughters learn that they are not defined solely by their appearance. They can pursue beauty and enjoy playing with pink if they wish. Conversely, I teach my sons that girls have value beyond physical attributes and that their character is paramount. Both my children are encouraged to follow their interests, regardless of societal norms. If my daughter wants a yellow digger instead of a Barbie doll, just as I allow my son to choose a hairdressing set instead of a bow and arrow, I foster an environment where individuality and choice are celebrated.
Building a More Understanding World!
In addition to gendered and gender neutral language, my parenting philosophy emphasizes respect for personal preferences. It is vital to acknowledge and respect that some people prefer to be called "they," "ze," or have other identity preferences. This respect extends to other aspects of a person's identity, such as their title or preferred name.
By teaching my children to go beyond surface-level judgments based on sex, color, or religion, we are nurturing a better understanding of different cultures and backgrounds. Fear often arises from a lack of understanding; therefore, I instill in them the importance of breaking down these barriers and supporting those who are different. My hope is to raise children who are strong, principled individuals who also possess a deep ability to empathize and listen.
Ultimately, as a parent, my aim is to equip my girls with the tools to break free from narrow expectations and pursue their dreams, not conform to traditional gender roles. By using gendered language, teaching tolerance, and promoting inclusivity, I am contributing to a more equitable and understanding world for the next generation.