Navigating the Emotional Distance: Newly Diagnosed Cancer Patients and Their Partners
It can be challenging for both newly diagnosed cancer patients and their partners to navigate the emotional distance that often arises during this difficult time. Many patients find themselves pushing away their partners, but this behavior is more about coping with the diagnosis than a reflection of their love or commitment.
Understanding the Coping Mechanism
When faced with a cancer diagnosis, a range of emotions can surface, including fear, anxiety, and a new sense of independence. Some patients might feel overwhelmed and might not want to burden their partners with their struggles or preserve their mental strength. Others might experience a shift in their identity and relationships, leading to feelings of isolation. It's important for partners to understand that while pushing away a partner might seem easy, it often stems from a need to cope with the adversity.
Open Communication and Support
Partners play a crucial role in helping their loved ones through this challenging journey. Open communication, patience, and support are key. Encouraging discussions about feelings and fears can help both partners manage the emotional impact of the diagnosis together. When a patient feels heard and supported, they are more likely to open up and share their emotions, leading to a stronger partnership during this difficult time.
A Personal Story
Sharing the story of a newly diagnosed patient can provide valuable insight into these coping mechanisms. Take, for instance, the story of a patient who was in a long-term relationship with her husband. The patient first faced cancer while young, and her husband was by her side from the beginning. However, during her second diagnosis, the cancer had metastasized, and the treatment was more severe, including radiation therapy and multiple months of chemotherapy.
Her husband, being a naturally fixate, struggled with the fact that there was nothing he could 'fix' in a traditional sense. This caused him significant stress, leading him to express his emotions through tears. In an attempt to protect her husband, the patient withdrew, hoping to lessen any burden on him. Unfortunately, her efforts to push away didn't achieve the desired outcome.
However, she acknowledges that pushing a partner away is a common coping mechanism. Despite this, she emphasizes that strong love won't falter, even if one partner is attempting to distance themselves. This love will eventually bring them back together, as with her own experience. By the third diagnosis, they had already been through the ordeal together and even considered their relationship a "veteran" status, going so far as to get married just before receiving the news that the cancer had returned.
This story illustrates that while it may seem like pushing away is the best solution, it can often hurt both partners and might not truly alleviate the burden. A more effective approach is to face the challenge together, relying on each other for emotional and practical support.
Conclusion
Cancer is an incredibly isolating and isolating experience, but it doesn't have to be faced alone. By understanding the emotional distance that can occur and actively working towards open communication and support, both patients and their partners can navigate this challenging journey.