Navigating Life with a Sibling Living with ADHD
Living with a sibling who has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a unique and often challenging experience. As a younger sister of an ADHD brother from a developing country, I've had firsthand experience in understanding and dealing with this condition. This journey has been a rollercoaster of emotions and mutual growth.
The Early Years: Unawareness and Isolation
As a child, I was unaware of my brother's condition. The diagnosis did not become apparent until a random classmate revealed it to me when I was nine years old. The statement, 'Your brother is crazy!' shocked me, leaving me feeling ashamed and isolated. I did not want my friends to find out, so I practiced concealment. I would close my brother's door and tell him not to go out when my friends visited, even going as far as lying to one of them about his 'mumbling'. 'He's practicing his lines for a drama,' I lied, and they believed it.
Family Gatherings: A Source of Tension
Family gatherings were a significant source of tension. My brother received more attention from relatives, and I was often body-shamed. My brother's 'body goals' drew admiration, while I was left alone. My resentment towards him began to grow as a result of this treatment. However, my mother was vague in her explanations about the condition, making it even harder to understand him.
Adolescence: Struggles and Resentment
During middle school, I faced bullying, and my teachers were not supportive enough. I lacked friends and became a sarcastic and hot-headed individual, resorting to making fun of my brother as an outlet for frustration. My mother's lack of detail in explaining his condition only fueled my resentment. While high school was slightly better, my brother and I found some moments where we could coexist harmoniously. However, my happiness did not last long as I moved away for university in another town.
Adult Life and Understanding ADHD
The stress and pressure of adult life eventually forced me to confront my anxiety. I could not continue living like that and started focusing on self-improvement, making friends, and finding my place in the world. My brother's ADHD was still a challenge, but I began to understand that his condition was a part of him, no matter how disruptive it could be. I sought information and support, including attending YouTube videos and reading articles on ADHD, to gain a better understanding of his struggles.
The Turning Point: Adult Responsibilities
Recently, my mom refused to tell my brother the truth about his ADHD. I asked her to be transparent, but she said my arguments were based on my own frustration and dislike for him. She believed that my brother needed to face the world with others knowing his condition for his own safety and well-being. However, I felt that he needed to know and embrace his unique abilities, especially considering the challenges he faced in a world that he was expected to thrive in.
Conclusion
Living with a sibling who has ADHD has taught me resilience and the importance of understanding and empathy. At times, it has been a difficult journey, but it has also brought us closer and helped me grow as an individual. The experiences I have had have made me more aware of the challenges faced by those with ADHD and the importance of advocacy and support in helping them thrive in a sometimes unforgiving world.
Conclusion
Living with a sibling with special needs, particularly ADHD, is a journey of both challenge and growth. Through understanding, empathy, and support, we can help our siblings navigate the complexities of life and succeed despite the challenges they face. It is a shared responsibility to ensure that they feel supported, understood, and valued.