Navigating Emotional Pain: Tools and Strategies for Dealing with Mentally and Emotionally Abusive Parents

I often come across cases like the one described by a 13-year-old user from Canada, who is also of South Korean nationality, and has experienced self-harm due to the emotional and mental abuse from their parents, primarily from their mother. This is a deeply troubling and heartbreaking situation, but hope and healing are always within reach.

Understanding the Dynamics

Firstly, it's crucial to acknowledge that emotional and mental abuse from parents, especially from mothers, is a global issue that cuts across cultural boundaries. These abusive behaviors are not just disturbing; they are deeply harmful and can leave lasting psychological scars.

Never Invalidate Yourself

It's important never to invalidate yourself because of these creatures—parents who exhibit such harmful behaviors are often described as 'disgusting devil spawns.' Emotional and mental abuse are forms of usurping one's self-worth and identity. Under no circumstances should you accept or internalize their manipulations. Never, ever hate yourself because of these vile monsters.

Seeking Help

If you find yourself in a situation where your parents are causing emotional and mental distress, here are some steps to consider for seeking help:

Tell an Adult You Trust: Start by confiding in an adult who can be trusted, such as a teacher, counselor, or another authority figure at school or work. Search for Local Resources: Use a computer or device that's not readily accessible to your parents to research local options for support. There are many resources available to help, including hotlines, counseling services, and support groups. Explore Legal Options: While it might seem like an extreme measure, there may be legal avenues to explore, such as restraining orders or other protective measures. Research and consult with legal professionals if you feel you're in danger.

Understanding the Impact of Toxicity

Realize that no parent is entirely free from toxicity. When you become a parent, you may find yourself in a similar situation, feeling like your efforts are in vain. This is a common cycle that many individuals experience. The way to break this cycle is through self-awareness and intentional growth.

Accepting Abuse and Moving Forward

Accept that the abuse is a reality and do not forgive them. Holding onto forgiveness can be a form of self-abandonment. Instead, focus on your own healing and growth.

Minimal Contact and Self-Sufficiency

If you are under 18 and living in your parents' home, you might not be able to change their behavior immediately. However, you can work towards self-sufficiency and independence. Here are some steps you can take:

Stay in School: Education is a powerful tool for personal growth and future independence. Stay committed to your education and take advantage of any resources available. Get a Job and Save: Start saving money in your own bank account. Even part-time jobs can provide a sense of financial independence and empowerment. Plan for the Future: Research and make plans for your future career. Consider what kind of field you'd like to work in. For example: Management at Lowe's: This can serve as a stepping stone to higher positions. Trade Skills: Learning a trade like becoming an electrician, auto mechanic, or another profession can provide financial stability. Education in Therapy: Training to become a counselor or therapist can help you support others who might be going through similar experiences. Career in Healthcare: Becoming a doctor or nurse can be inspiring and fulfilling. Join the Military: Serving in the military, especially after college, can offer additional educational opportunities and financial assistance. College and More: Pursuing higher education in fields such as psychology, social work, or other professions that can help you heal and support others.

Find Your Passion

Lastly, find something you enjoy that can provide a self-sufficient living. Your passion should drive you to succeed and fulfill your dreams. Once you achieve this, you can build a fulfilling and content life, far better than the one you're currently experiencing.

Conclusion

While emotional and mental abuse from parents is a serious issue, there is hope for healing and personal growth. To build a better future, it's essential to educate yourself, seek support, and plan for self-sufficiency. Remember, you deserve a life filled with love, respect, and fulfillment.