What is the Most Essential Life Advice a Mother Could Give Her 13-Year-Old Daughter?

A mother might offer a variety of essential life advice to her 13-year-old daughter but some key themes could include:

Be True to Yourself

Emphasize the importance of authenticity. Encourage her to embrace her individuality and not to feel pressured to conform to others' expectations. Growing up can be a period of immense self-discovery, and it's crucial to stay true to oneself.

Value Education

Stress the importance of learning and personal growth. Education opens doors and empowers her to pursue her dreams. Instill a love for learning that will serve her throughout her life.

Build Healthy Relationships

Teach her about the significance of surrounding herself with supportive and positive people. Healthy friendships and family bonds are crucial for emotional well-being. Encourage her to nurture meaningful connections.

Practice Self-Respect

Encourage her to set boundaries and understand her worth. Teach her to stand up for herself and not to settle for less than she deserves. Self-respect is the foundation of all healthy relationships and interactions.

Stay Resilient

Life will have challenges. Encourage her to view setbacks as opportunities for growth and to develop a strong sense of resilience. Help her build a mindset that can weather the toughest storms.

Communicate Openly

Foster an environment where she feels comfortable discussing her feelings and concerns. Open communication strengthens relationships and builds trust. Encourage her to communicate with integrity and honesty.

Prioritize Health

Teach her the importance of physical and mental health. Encourage healthy habits, self-care practices, and the importance of seeking help when needed. Physical and mental well-being are integral to her overall success.

Be Kind and Compassionate

Instill the value of kindness towards others and herself. Compassion can create strong connections and contribute to a positive community. Teach her the power of empathy and the importance of treating others with respect and care.

Personal Reflections

I was an incredibly awkward 13-year-old girl. My family had moved across the country a year or so before, and I was in my second new school. It was not a good time for me. Every time I was upset, my mother would tell me, 'All girls feel that way when they are your age, and it will get better.' And she was so incredibly sincere, I was so incredibly not cool that I totally believed her.

And one day, a girl from my grade said all the things I was feeling. I told her my mom says all girls feel that way when they are this age, and it gets better. And she said, 'That is the lie all moms tell.' I was like WOAH!!!! What if that was true? What if it doesn’t get better? Honestly, it was too horrible a thought for me to entertain. So I held on tight to my mother's words.

The next year was a little bit better, the next one a little bit better. I began watching my nephews for a couple of hours after school, and my 13-year-old nephew started saying the same things to me that I had told my mother. I said, 'I never believed your grandmother, but she told me that it would get better, and I didn't believe her, but she was right, and I think that is right about you.' I flat out told him that sometimes I thought my mom was just making crap up.

By college, it was great. I was me, and people liked the me that I was. And it was good. I went home for Christmas, looking and feeling the best I had ever been in my life. My nephew, now a little bit over, says to me, 'So I never believed what you told me... but it was true. And a few weeks ago, I was talking to my cousin, and he was feeling all the things I felt when I was 13. I said, 'Okay, I never believed her, but B used to say...' You are not alone. Everybody else is miserable too. One day you'll realize that, and it will blow your mind. But until then, it gets better. I swear.'

These experiences and reflections remind us of the importance of listening, even when it's difficult. In some cases, the advice we receive from trusted figures can create a solid foundation for navigating the complex challenges of adolescence and beyond, laying a foundation for a fulfilling life.