Introduction

The way we judge ourselves and others can often be quite different. We tend to be lenient with ourselves, focusing on our intentions and the context of our actions, while we judge others harshly based on their behavior. This phenomenon, often referred to as the 'self-people' (Self-Perception), can be attributed to several cognitive biases and social comparison mechanisms.

Self-Perception: Judging Ourselves

When evaluating our own actions, we tend to prioritize our intentions, beliefs, and the circumstances surrounding our decisions. Since we are deeply aware of our internal motivations and the complexities of our situations, it is easier for us to be lenient with ourselves. Understanding our choices within the context of our internal struggles can help us forgive ourselves more easily.

Attribution to Others: Judging Behavior

In contrast, when judging others, we often lack insight into their internal states. We observe their behavior without knowing the context or intentions behind it, leading us to attribute their actions to their character or personality. This can result in a harsher judgment, attributing their negative actions to inherent negative traits rather than situational factors. This can be seen as a cognitive bias, where we may be more critical of others while excusing our own mistakes.

Cognitive Bias and Social Comparisons

This discrepancy between how we judge ourselves and others can also be a reflection of cognitive biases and social comparisons. For example, we might feel the need to evaluate others harshly to feel better about ourselves or to maintain social norms. This can lead to a skewed perspective, where we project our own shortcomings onto others, exacerbating judgment and bias.

Another factor is empathy. Our ability to empathize with ourselves often exceeds our empathy for others. We can rationalize our own behavior with reasons that may not apply to others, leading to a biased assessment of their actions. This can be deeply rooted in our emotional intelligence and self-awareness.

Emotional Intelligence and Self-Knowledge

“Intention is born first. The action emanates from that. In the opposite case the action is what we receive from the person. We will probably never know what the intention was.” - Baha’u’llah, Prophet-founder of the Baha’i Faith

This statement highlights the importance of understanding intentions. Just as we delve into our own intentions and the reasons behind our actions, it is crucial to recognize that others may also have underlying intentions and complexities to their behaviors. Baha’u’llah’s wisdom encourages us to approach others with empathy and an understanding that their actions are multifaceted, just like our own.

Self-Knowledge and Positive Reinforcement

Many of us find it helpful to remind ourselves of the positive aspects of our own journey, especially when we are discouraged. Reflecting on the overcome challenges and achievements can provide a strong sense of self-worth. For instance, consider the tragic yet inspiring life of Nikola Tesla. His poverty, struggles with love, and unfulfilled dreams have shifted our perspective and remind us that everyone has a unique set of challenges.

Understanding that every criticism we face comes from someone who has benefited from our hard work and sacrifice can be a powerful motivator. It can help us maintain a balanced view of ourselves and others, fostering a more compassionate and empathetic approach to social interactions.

Conclusion

By recognizing and understanding these cognitive biases and emotional mechanisms, we can cultivate greater empathy and reduce judgment towards others. This can lead to more compassionate and harmonious relationships, fostering an environment where mutual respect and understanding thrive.