Should Gender-Neutral Parenting Be Encouraged?

Parenting, in its essence, should be encouraged. The focus should be on nurturing children to become well-rounded individuals, rather than conforming to traditional gender roles and stereotypes. However, the notion that gender-neutrality should not be encouraged is often rooted in outdated and harmful beliefs. It is important to recognize that the disparities in how boys and girls are raised can have significant and often negative impacts on their development.

Treating Children Equally

The question, “Would you give a girl the same freedom if that EXACT same child was a boy instead,” highlights the inherent inequality in parenting practices. Parents often impose gender roles and stereotypes on their children, believing that these expectations are necessary. This practice perpetuates harmful gender-based behaviors and limits the potential of both boys and girls.

Many parents say, “Boys will be boys,” to justify misbehavior. This excuse is not only harmful but also perpetuates a cycle of harmful behavior. It teaches boys that it is acceptable to be violent, angry, or aggressive, and that these traits are inherent rather than socially constructed. This socially conditioned behavior is illogical and can have severe consequences for both the child and society as a whole.

Impact on Girls

Girls, on the other hand, are often taught behaviors such as “be seen, not heard.” This can lead to a range of issues including anxiety, depression, and underdiagnosis of conditions like autism. These behaviors are frequently observed and internalized through social conditioning, which can result in children being labeled as overly reserved or quiet. For instance, in my case, I was raised as a female child and struggled with social anxiety and major depression, but these were often overlooked because my shyness was seen as desirable in a female child.

The underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis based on gender norms can be particularly harmful. Girls who exhibit signs of anxiety, depression, or autism may be overlooked because traditional gender roles devalue these behaviors. This was my experience; I was extremely shy and had difficulty making friends. I even experienced physical illness during piano recitals due to the pressure of social interactions. It was only in retrospect that I realized I was struggling with social anxiety and major depression.

Conclusion: Raising Children Individually

Parents should be encouraged to raise their children based on individual personality and physical traits, rather than imposing artificial gender differences. This approach does not mean that children will not develop different interests or behaviors based on their personalities and physical traits. However, it does mean that parents should not artificially limit these differences or impose harmful gender stereotypes.

For example, it is perfectly acceptable for boys to play with their sisters’ “girl” toys or for girls to engage in traditionally “boy” activities like airsoft. The focus should be on individual development and well-being, rather than conforming to traditional gender roles. Parents play a crucial role in shaping the future of their children, and encouraging gender-neutral parenting can help ensure that all children are nurtured and supported in their unique journeys.