Explaining Transgender Concepts to Young Children: A Guide for Parents
When discussing complex topics such as gender identity and transgender individuals with young children, it is important to do so in a manner that is both accurate and age-appropriate. This guide aims to offer insights and strategies for parents in broaching these sensitive topics with their children.
Understanding the Dynamics of Gender Identity in Children
Many 7-year-olds may assert they want to be the opposite sex due to a general idea that it might be cooler or better. These expressions of gender are common at this stage and reflect the child's imagination and desire for adventure. However, transgender children are not simply going through this phase; they are expressing a deep and persistent identification with a gender that does not match their assigned sex at birth.
Parents can acknowledge that some people feel different on the inside from how their bodies look on the outside. Emphasizing that for most children and adults, their gender identity aligns with their biological sex, but for some it does not, can help provide a basic understanding.
Communicating with Your Child about Transgender Loved Ones
Explaining the situation to your 3-year-old daughter about her 7-year-old cousin who is now transgender can be challenging. At age 3, your daughter is unlikely to understand fully what it means for her cousin to be transgender, but she may start to grasp the concept of a name change and different pronouns.
Choose a simple and straightforward approach. Introduce your daughter to her cousin by her chosen name and use the appropriate pronouns. For example, if the cousin is now identifying as a girl, simply refer to her as a girl and use “she/her” pronouns. Explain that her name was previously different, and the doctors thought she was a boy when she was little, but she told them she was really a girl. If your daughter shows signs of confusion, gently correct her, such as saying, “I know you thought her name was David, but now she tells us she really is a girl named [her new name].”
Enriching the Conversation with Educational Resources
Books and stories can provide valuable tools for introducing these concepts to young children in a supportive and educational way. One recommended book is I Am Jazz, based on the story of Jazz Jennings, an inspiring transgender youth who has become a voice for young transgender voices in the United States. Born a male, Jazz insisted she was a girl and transitioned at the age of five. The book and accompanying videos share her journey and can serve as a guide for understanding gender identity and gender transitioning.
“I Am Jazz” Jessica Herthel and Shelagh McNicholas is not just a book for your daughter; it can also be a resource for you as a parent. Reading the book with your child can help answer both their and your questions, fostering a supportive and understanding environment.
By approaching these conversations with honesty and care, you can help your daughter develop a compassionate and accepting attitude towards her cousin and others like her.