Embracing Atheism: An Integrative Perspective on Belief and Existence

As an atheist, how would I feel if it was conclusively proven that God existshappy, sad, or something else entirely? This is a question that has often lingered in my consciousnessafter all, the decision to embrace atheism is not merely a rejection of religion, but a profound statement on my personal beliefs and values. Conversely, what would become of my emotional state if I died and met a god I had previously dismissed as fictional? This thought experiment reflects a deeper exploration of these beliefs and their impact on both rational and personal perspectives.

Belief and Skepticism

My journey towards atheism began with an immersion in religious teachings, as I was deeply influenced by the Protestant churches and confirmed into the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. However, despite this upbringing, I always approached religious doctrines with a high level of skepticism. This skepticism did not diminish with time; in fact, it was reinforced by my thorough and repeated study of the Bible. Having read the Bible cover-to-cover four times, by the end of the fourth reading, I was even more convinced that I could not believe in the 'god' presented in the scriptures.

The Encounter with Religious Authority

The confirmation of my skepticism came during an unexpected visit from a pastor who decided to visit me. During this interaction, I posed questions that were not addressed by biblical answersspecifically, the issue of eternal damnation for those who did not know of Jesus, including infants. My sincere faith in the existence of a loving and just god was challenged by a doctrine that seemed inconsistent with these values. The pastor's response was unequivocal, stating that disbelief in God's word would disqualify me from being Christian, and especially from being Lutheran. Despite his assertion, I refused to be swayed and left the encounter with a sense of finality.

The Importance of Personal Conviction

It's important to note that my actions were driven by a pre-existing conviction that I shared with the pastor. I had already reached a critical point in my belief system, and the pastor's visit was merely an opportunity to validate and solidify my existing conclusions. I had no inclination to explore other religious communities or revisit the Bible, as I was fully aware that my stance remained unchanged. My decision to not bring my children into a religious environment further underscores my personal belief that such beliefs are not something I am willing to pass on.

Feeling of Greatness: Acceptance and Freedom

Reflecting on these experiences, I can confidently say that I would feel great if it were conclusively proven that God exists. The feeling of great would stem from the validation of my personal journey and the freedom to embrace a worldview that aligns with my rational and ethical understanding of the world. The realization that my beliefs have been affirmed, and the emotional and intellectual strain of questioning these beliefs has been relieved, would surely provide a sense of joy and relief.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the decision to embrace atheism, or any belief system, is deeply personal and reflects an exploration of one's existential beliefs. The encounter with a pastor who reinforced my skepticism only served to affirm my path and provided a sense of closure. Whether it is acceptance, joy, or relief, the conclusion is that my initial path is where I find great value and meaning. The journey towards understanding one's beliefs is both an intellectual and emotional process that is integral to personal growth and satisfaction.