Dealing with Bullies: My Journey Through Various Environments
Throughout my life, I have faced numerous bullies in different settings, from elementary school to federal prison. These experiences have been both challenging and shape-shifting, teaching me valuable lessons about resilience and self-protection. This article explores my strategies and outcomes in dealing with bullies, highlighting the importance of understanding and responding effectively.
Elementary School: Strategies and Outcomes
During my time in grades 4-6, I encountered some of the most significant bullying incidents. Boys in my class would often punch me in the face, and when I informed teachers, their response was often to ignore the situation, not interceding to stop the bullying. Once, I even retaliated by stepping on the bully's head, but it only resulted in him chasing me and punching me in the back, as he found my action unacceptable. To avoid confrontations, I would often retreat to a covered area behind the school, where bullies would point at me, call me names, or simply wait for me at the school's exits.
When dealing with bullying in the classroom, my response was often to shout back, swear, and tell the boys to leave me alone. As a result, I frequently found myself standing at "the bench" until the end of recess or lunch. Some bullies even followed me home, to which I learned to avoid by hiding behind fences, bushes, or cars. Middle school brought its own challenges. I started hiding in a small forest behind the school during lunch, and my methods of self-protection became more aggressive, such as hitting a bully in the eye or punching another in the nose. Unfortunately, this aggressive behavior was not well-received by my peers, and I was often told to stop.
High School and Beyond: Accepting the Realities of Bullying
In high school, my experiences with bullying continued. When a Christian friend began bullying me, I eventually dropped out. At Bible college, I resigned myself to enduring bullying, believing it was part of God's will. Despite reporting incidents, no actions were taken, and sometimes even staff and students who bullied me were defended. This acceptance and helplessness lasted until I was 24 years old, with brief periods of peace, notably in grades 11-12.
While in federal prison, I faced severe bullying, with guards failing to intervene. Inmates, psychiatric nurses, and even the RCMP agreed to turn a blind eye, often even participating in the verbal bullying. These experiences taught me that standing up for myself often led to detrimental consequences, both in terms of personal safety and reputation.
Lessons Learned: The Importance of Understanding and Responding Effectively
My experiences have highlighted the importance of understanding the motives behind bullies' actions and the potential consequences of one's own responses. Instead of simply reacting using aggression, it is essential to take a measured and informed approach. Engaging with authorities and finding support from trusted individuals can also play a crucial role in mitigating bullying.
While it is important to recognize that the response to bullies should not come at the cost of one's well-being or personal safety, understanding the nature of bullying and its underlying causes can help in developing effective coping strategies. Whether in the schoolyard or federal prison, the ability to handle bullying situations with resilience and wisdom can make a significant difference in one's overall experience and success.
By sharing my experiences and insights, I hope to contribute to a better understanding of the dynamics of bullying and inspire others to seek help and support when facing similar challenges.