Confronting a Pathological Liar or Narcissist: Their Typical Reactions and What to Expect

Confronting a pathological liar or a narcissist can be a deeply challenging and often frustrating experience. These individuals often have a strong resistance to accepting the truth, and their reactions can range from attempts to digress to full-blown rage. Understanding their typical responses can help you navigate these situations more effectively and protect yourself from further emotional distress.

Common Reactions to Confrontation

When faced with the truth, a pathological liar or narcissist may employ several common tactics to avoid admitting their falsehoods:

#1 Digressing to Divert Attention

One of the most common strategies is to change the subject or divert attention away from the main issue. This can involve bringing up unrelated topics or attacking the accuser's character, hoping to distract from the core issue at hand.

#2 Minimizing the Lie with Delusion

When the initial lies are exposed, some individuals may attempt to minimize their actions by claiming they were merely misunderstood or misinterpreted. This delusional thinking serves to deflect responsibility and maintain their false narrative.

#3 Frustration and Escalation

If further attempts to avoid the truth fail, the individual may become increasingly agitated. In an attempt to shift the blame and refrain from accepting responsibility, they might engage in heated arguments, verbal attacks, or even physical aggression, known as the "narc rage."

Dissuasion and Escapism

Worse yet, they may simply refuse to talk about the issue any longer, implying they do not want to deal with the confrontation: "STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ANYMORE." This form of communication results in an inescapable situation, where the accuser must either physically leave or endure a verbally abusive environment.

These reactions indicate that the person's refusal to accept reality is rooted in deep-seated personality disorders, making direct confrontation often a futile endeavor. It's crucial to recognize that engaging with such individuals can be emotionally draining and potentially dangerous.

Gaslighting and Its Impact

During confrontation, it's common for pathological liars and narcissists to use a technique known as gaslighting. Gaslighting involves the manipulative act of making one feel uncertain of their own sanity, even when they are presented with clear and concrete evidence of their surroundings and accurate memories. This technique can be particularly insidious as it undermines the victim's confidence and independence.

To illustrate the gaslighting process, one can think of the classic movie "Gaslight." In this film, the protagonist's partner continually denies any wrongdoing and makes her question her own perception of reality. Similarly, a pathological liar or narcissist may employ consistent denial, shifting blame, and derision to make their victims doubt their own experiences and perceptions.

Common Tactics of Gaslighting

Minimizing Events: "That never happened." "You are just imagining things." Gaslighting Responses: "It's all in your head." "I only said that to make you happy." "If you don't trust me, then you have issues." Denial: "I never said that. You are too paranoid." Misattribution: Blaming the victim for the actions or feelings of the gaslighter. "You made me say it."

Conclusion

Confronting a pathological liar or narcissist is a strategy fraught with challenges, as these individuals are adept at avoiding accountability and maintaining control. By understanding their typical reactions, including their use of digression, minimization, and gaslighting, one can better prepare for such interactions and ensure their own safety and mental well-being.

It’s important to recognize that their refusal to admit fault is a reflection of deeper psychological issues. When the truth is confronted, these individuals often resort to defensive mechanisms, making direct confrontation often an unsatisfactory and potentially harmful endeavor. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals to navigate such situations effectively.

Consistently reinforcing boundaries, seeking professional help, and ensuring one's own health and well-being should be the ultimate goals in dealing with these challenging individuals.