Are Parents Punishing Their Kids Too Much in Modern Times?
Have you ever seen the show 'Mad Men'? It ran for ten seasons and begins with the year 1960 and ends with 1970. This show was so dead-on accurate that it was amazing. I was born in the year 1960, so I know this. I've seen many forms of discipline from then till now. In the 1960s, other parents got involved and disciplined each other's kids. Today, if someone slaps me across the face, they will get their butt kicked! Moving on, I have also seen parents who refused to discipline their kids at all, saying they just wanted the kids to be free and become whatever they are supposed to become. Those are the brats you do not want to be around.
The parents raised in the 1960s-70s did discipline, but not as harshly as those parents in the 1960s and before. Then came the "let them run free" era, which was a failure. In response, the next parents started to use discipline in the right way, spanking on the butt. A notable incident was the Macy's fiasco. A 5-year-old was in the men's department knocking all the suits onto the floor. The mom tried to stop the child but failed. Finally, the mom spanked the child on the butt as she should. Next thing you know, the police were called, and child protective services were there. The child was taken, and the mom was arrested. She was on the news, and half of America was appalled, while the other half was in disbelief and now afraid to spank their children. This brings us to the question of whether we should discipline or not.
When I was raising my daughter in the 1980s/90s, I was very afraid. When she threw a tantrum in the grocery store, I picked her up, left my cart, took her home, spanked her, and put her in her room for a nap. If I had done the spanking in public, I would have been on the news too!
So, should parents discipline their children or not? Now, I am not talking about people who literally beat children; I am talking about spankings on the butt where spankings belong, followed by talking to the child about what they did wrong. We need to understand the dynamics of modern parenting and whether harsh punishments or gentle discipline are more effective.
The Evolution of Parental Discipline
Parental discipline has evolved over the decades. In the 1960s, parents were harsher in their approach to discipline. They believed in a strict and sometimes violent method of ensuring their children followed the rules. However, as society became more progressive and focused on children's well-being, methods began to change.
The "let them run free" era of the 1970s saw a shift towards a more permissive approach. Parents believed that giving children freedom and allowing them to explore would lead to their better development. This period led to a backlash in the 1980s and 1990s, as many parents realized that total lack of discipline did not benefit their children. Compassionate and balanced discipline methods came to the forefront, fostering a better understanding of children's behavior and their individual needs.
Modern Parental Discipline
Today, parental discipline is often seen as a duty rather than a burden. Parents are aware of the importance of setting boundaries and consequences for their children. However, the challenge lies in finding the right balance between being strict and being supportive.
Modern parents are more likely to use positive reinforcement and incentives to encourage good behavior. For instance, praising children for their efforts, rewarding them for their accomplishments, and creating a positive home environment can significantly impact their development. Additionally, teaching children the reasons behind the rules and consequences helps them understand the importance of discipline and its role in their lives.
Challenges and Concerns
Despite the shift towards more humane and balanced methods of discipline, there are still challenges and concerns.
One of the major challenges is the fear of societal judgment. Many parents are hesitant to discipline their children, fearing that they might be labeled as 'helicopter parents' or 'authoritarian.' This fear can lead to them not addressing problematic behavior effectively, which can prove harmful in the long run.
Another concern is the lack of consensus on appropriate methods of discipline. While some parents believe in spanking as an effective method, others advocate for more gentle approaches. This lack of agreement can cause confusion for parents and may lead to inconsistent parenting practices.
Conclusion
It is crucial for parents to understand the dynamics of modern parenting and find the right balance in disciplining their children. While there are valid concerns about harsh punishments and the fear of judgment, it is essential not to neglect the importance of setting boundaries and ensuring children follow the rules.
A gentle yet firm approach to discipline can foster better behavior and a stronger bond between parents and children. Positive reinforcement, clear communication, and creating a supportive environment are key to guiding children towards the right path.